My Personal Experience with a Birth Doula (AKA: Why I’m Such a Fan Now 💛)
I could list all the research and statistics about why having a doula at birth is beneficial…But instead, I want to tell you my story — because sometimes real-life experience says it best.
Before my first labour, a friend suggested hiring a doula. She had amazing birth experiences with hers and couldn’t stop raving about it. At the time, I honestly had no idea what a doula actually did. I knew they helped with comfort, but beyond that? Very fuzzy.
My husband and I talked it over for a long time and eventually decided not to hire one. Cost was a factor, and we assumed our midwives would provide most of the support a doula would. Plus, we’d taken prenatal classes — surely we’d be prepared, right?
Well… not quite.
My first birth didn’t go the way I had imagined. Everyone did their job — my baby and I were safe, and there were no complications — but something felt missing. I expected more hands-on support with positioning, breathing, and pain management. Instead, my midwife was focused (rightfully) on monitoring safety, and the second midwife was supervising her.
My husband tried so hard to help — bless him — but he was just as new to this as I was. And let’s be honest, most of what we learned in prenatal class had completely flown out of our brains once labour started. I found myself feeling more frustrated than supported.
Looking back, I realize the biggest thing I was missing was emotional support. Even with people around me, I felt vulnerable and alone in a way I hadn’t expected. I didn’t need more medical care — I needed someone fully focused on me.
So for my second birth, my husband and I made a different choice. We hired a doula.
And wow — what a difference.
From the moment labour started, she was there. Coaching me through every breath. Helping me move. Offering reassurance. Being a literal and emotional shoulder to lean on. My husband was busy caring for our first child, and my midwife had checked in earlier and assumed things would progress slowly.
They didn’t.
It was just me and the doula — calm, focused, supported. Even though the contractions were intense, my body felt safe and relaxed. I didn’t even consciously push — my body just did its thing.
At one point, the baby was coming so fast that I realized… I still had my pants on 😳. I was yelling for my husband to take them off because I was genuinely worried the baby might get stuck in them. (Don’t worry — pants came off, baby came out safely!)
I truly can’t say enough about how incredible that support was. The doula was present without being overwhelming, nurturing without being intrusive. My husband loved it too — mainly because I wasn’t yelling at him 😆 and he knew I was in very good hands. He now tells all his friends to get a doula.
Here’s how I like to describe it:
Having a doula is like hiring a sherpa when climbing Mount Everest.
Yes, you still have to do the climb.
Yes, there may be guides pointing the way.
But having someone whose sole job is to carry the load and support you? That changes everything.
If you can afford a doula, I wholeheartedly encourage you to consider one. And if cost is a concern, know that some doulas offer sliding scales, payment plans, or exchanges. Interview a few. Ask about their experience. See if your personalities click — because this is someone you’ll share one of the most intense, vulnerable moments of your life with.
Whether you’re planning a hospital birth or a home birth, with a doctor or a midwife, my advice is simple:
If you can — get a doula.
The support is truly priceless. 💛
Mia Dang, PT, is a pelvic physiotherapist with extensive supplementary training in pelvic floor physiotherapy and perinatal care